We believe that all of the principles and practices that we apply to a one-on-one relationship to create love can be extended into a small community, to create a field of love. This can be done with few simple guidelines, agreements and structures, but most of all with the intention to choose the reality of love, and be willing to forgo the choice to make our triggers real.
Premise: The overriding premise of the community is to make every heart safe within the community.
The same agreement field that we make between two people in a couple can be extended into a small group:
1. I agree to refrain as best I can from harmful words about others (blame, attack etc), and instead dig deeper into myself until I find out what is touched within me, or what is vulnerable. Or perhaps I just need to do practice to shift my energy. Either way, I choose self responsibility when I'm triggered, instead of blame and projection. We believe that harmful words cause scars in relationships, and yes we can apologize later but often the scars remain. Over time, too many scars block the love from getting through. If someone feels blamed in community, they will feel unsafe to open their heart.
2. If I cannot shift my trigger on my own, then I agree to ask for help from a neutral person in the community. Or perhaps to contact a teacher outside of the group field. Either way, I agree to get help so that I can return to love.
We operate on the understanding that each of us is responsible for our own waking up and we are not here to try and wake each other up. We do not believe that criticism or attack ever helped anyone become the love that is their true nature. In fact quite the opposite: it makes it unsafe for the other to open their heart. Therefore, we are all here to make it safe for each person to flower into the love that they are.
With this simple premise and agreement field, we have grown our relationship into the deepest love we have ever known. We have far less time triggered or processing and way more time loving and enjoying. Shahid and I would love to share this way of being into a wider field of friends. It may not be for everyone and that is fine. You are invited but you are free to choose.