Questions to Explore Power in your Relationship
These question can be used for personal journalling, or sit together and answer them one by one. Use a timer (1 to 2 mins each), do not interrupt each other, take a deep breath after each person has spoken. Remember to approach this with curiosity not animosity! Every couple has power dynamics...this is about becoming aware, bot judgemental.
Where do I feel most powerful in our relationship?
Where do I make myself smaller to keep the peace or stay connected?
Where do I try to control you, directly or indirectly?
Where do I expect you to know what I want without asking?
Where do I agree when I actually want to say no?
What happens when I want something and you want something different?
What does healthy power between us look like?
What would it mean for both of us to remain sovereign while deeply loving each other?
What would i like to explore in power? In the bedroom and outside...
Where do I make myself smaller to keep the peace or stay connected?
Where do I try to control you, directly or indirectly?
Where do I expect you to know what I want without asking?
Where do I agree when I actually want to say no?
What happens when I want something and you want something different?
What does healthy power between us look like?
What would it mean for both of us to remain sovereign while deeply loving each other?
What would i like to explore in power? In the bedroom and outside...
Empathy: the bridge between triggers
One of the main tools that we have to resolve differences is empathy, and it can be learned. Empathy is an emotional intelligence skill, not a personality trai that you need to be born with.
Remember, a lot of our power struggles come from early childhood relational trauma. Those who abused their authority over us, those who misused anger, bullying at school, unsupportive adults who did not help us to step into our power (often de to their own fears)...most power disputes n adult relationships have nothing to do with our partner. We project our own fear of power onto our partner, and we imagine that they are stopping us from being in our power. But more often than not, the places we are powerless or giving away our power started a long long time ago.
Sign up below to watch my video on empathy as a skill for your relationship.
Remember, a lot of our power struggles come from early childhood relational trauma. Those who abused their authority over us, those who misused anger, bullying at school, unsupportive adults who did not help us to step into our power (often de to their own fears)...most power disputes n adult relationships have nothing to do with our partner. We project our own fear of power onto our partner, and we imagine that they are stopping us from being in our power. But more often than not, the places we are powerless or giving away our power started a long long time ago.
Sign up below to watch my video on empathy as a skill for your relationship.
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